Masami Teraoka, “AIDS Series/Mother and Child”, 1990. Watercolor on unstretched canvas; unique. 108 x 84 inches.
Image courtesy of the artist and Catharine Clark Gallery, San Francisco.

A Culture That Isn’t Mine As Africans, our culture has always been tied to our people. The way we celebrate, the way we speak, our dressing, our food, our tradition. Growing up, I was exposed to other cultures outside of mine, most of them were unfamiliar, and I sometimes felt, “What a strange way to do things.” Well, I experienced one, and it was the most unexpected and tangling experience. It happened when I saw the Masami Teraoka art collection. My background in art is limited to ”and”? I just didn't get it. Maybe it is because I didn't get to see many profound paintings growing up, but when I saw Masami Teraoka's 1990 AIDS Series, Mother and Child, I was struck down with nowhere to go. It was a nibbling feeling at first, filled with curiosity about what was going on. I had seen a child being held, and all I could think of at the moment was who was holding this child, and why couldn't I look at them? When I finally looked up, I understood why, because my gaze was gone immediately. It had met a cold stare that said, “Don't you dare!” and I didn't because I was shaken to the core and yielded to the command. She was going to come for me.

Did I find the courage to look up again? Yes, but this time I left with my heart pounding. Like she was already after me. I experienced fear, but in a way that made me crave more, so I went back for my “final” look. I was able to get a closer look at the painting, avoiding her stare, and the child looked sick. This made me ponder, the innocent yet strikingly dark aura I could perceive from the child and still get shaken. What a painting. What a beautiful painting in a non-traditional way, but in the eyes of the beholder. Mine.I now know that Masami Teraoka's AIDS painting series was inspired by his friend, who told him her daughter had contracted AIDS through a blood transfusion. And, having felt threatened by the spreading epidemic, he realized no one was safe unless they protected themselves. The mother and child painting shows a mother tenderly holding her child, who is infected with HIV or dead, with their eyes cast downward and away, capturing a moment of overwhelming and indescribable loss (Meer, 2023).

The Masami Teraoka AIDS series is said to represent Teraoka at his best, and I could not agree more. What could be better than a painting that invokes layers of emotions? From the fear of the mother that turned into my fear to flee to the craving of the mother for her child to come back, that turned into my cravings to go back. It is nothing less than a masterpiece.

Now I cherish this culture of art that is not mine because I have experienced the power and beauty it holds.